It happens all the time—your child was thrilled about starting karate, soccer, dance, or another exciting extracurricular. They couldn’t wait for the first day. But now, just a few days, weeks, or months in, they suddenly “don’t like it,” say it’s “boring,” or claim they’re “not good at it.”
What changed?
Understanding the top 3 most common reasons kids give for not wanting to attend a class or practice they once looked forward to—and how to gently guide them through it—can be a game-changer for parents.
Top 3 Avoidance Reasons Kids Give:
- “I’m bored.” This often means the novelty has worn off. Kids thrive on excitement, and when the routine kicks in, it might not feel as thrilling. But boredom isn’t a reason to quit—it’s a normal part of learning something new and is a sign that mastery is starting.
- “I’m not good at it.” Kids can be incredibly hard on themselves when they don’t master something right away. This excuse is often a mask for fear of failure or embarrassment. What kids don’t realize is that repetition, repetition and more repetition is needed to become good. Rarely do students walk into something new being highly skilled. This is the exception. Most everyone must put time and practice in.
- “I just don’t want to go anymore.” This vague resistance is usually a catch-all for discomfort, anxiety, or simply not wanting to step out of their comfort zone.
1. Set Clear and Loving Boundaries
Children feel safest when expectations are consistent. If your child senses you’re unsure or willing to negotiate every time they push back, it creates anxiety, not relief. Say something calm and firm like:
“We’re going to class. I know you can do it, and I’ll be right here to support you.”
2. Recognize That Avoidance Can Become a Habit
If a child learns that discomfort leads to opting out, they may begin resisting all unfamiliar or challenging situations. Show them early that pushing through is a normal part of growth.
3. Understand Their Brains Are Still Developing
Most children aren’t yet equipped to make long-term decisions based on what’s good for them. What feels uncomfortable now may be building confidence and capability for life. Don’t let short-term fear dictate long-term choices.
4. Use Gradual Exposure as a Bridge
If the resistance is strong, ease the pressure by letting our child watch or participate minimally for a short while, without making that the new norm.
Say:
“Let’s go together and just watch today. But next time, we’ll participate again.”
5. Reframe the Challenge
Remind your child that trying, not perfection, is what matters. Use phrases like:
“Being nervous means you care. Every time you go, you get braver and stronger.”
6. Keep the Long-Term Goal in Mind
These small moments of hesitation are opportunities to teach grit and emotional resilience. By guiding them through resistance now, you’re helping them build confidence they’ll carry for life.
Final Thoughts
As a parent, you’re not just managing logistics—you’re shaping how your child responds to challenge, discomfort, and new experiences. When you lovingly hold the line and reinforce follow-through, you’re teaching them a deeper truth: they are capable, even when it feels hard. With these 6 strategies, you can help your child move past the excuses and into the growth that comes from doing what once felt impossible!
